The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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