and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
