Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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