Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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