He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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