I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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