I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
