i need an iv and a liver transplant
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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