Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize