I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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