I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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