handjob tips. give me some.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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