I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
