just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
