i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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