I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize