I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
