dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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