Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
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Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
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making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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