he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize