I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
