Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
