Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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