R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
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