Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
