Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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