So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
