I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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