I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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