and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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