I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
