I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
