how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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