What did we do last night that was yellow?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Green mimosas i think yes
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Randomize
