I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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