Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I need moral support for this bender
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
