so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Holy sore nipples Batman
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
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