I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
