I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize