We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
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So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
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Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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