So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
