Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
