don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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