Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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