I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
