You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize