also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
