you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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