And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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