I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
