fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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