You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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