My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
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