sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
