somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize