woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
