Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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