Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
